why the world needs a Zoom mute button
When someone calls my name and I need to unmute, it’s a race. If I’m standing at the ready, then maybe I can unmute quickly. If I don’t, bad things happen.
My coworkers start wondering if I’m paying attention. Then someone says… “Paul, you’re on mute!” I look dumb. I don’t get the promotion. Damn you Zoom!
Other times I forget I’m on mute and I talk for a few seconds. I wonder why no one responds and I get angry. Then the boss says “let’s move on” and my chance to change the future of the company has passed. Or I unmute and admit that I am so self-absorbed that I spoke on mute for 20 seconds and didn’t notice no one was listening.
And the stakes are high. Most open-ended questions in meetings often get answered in about 200 milliseconds by over-achieving, long-winded, Dennis. If I’m not ready to immediately blurt out “that’s a great question” then I’ll literally never speak in a meeting again.
Then there are the times I desperately want to be on mute but I was lazily hanging out in the dangerous unmuted zone and couldn't act fast. A little too much La Croix and suddenly burpity burp during the board meeting. And with the mic cord dangling by my throat I KNOW they all heard it.
Perhaps my finest #mutemoment is when my girlfriend started asking me if we ran out of toilet paper again and if I’m ever going to install that bidet. All of this while I’m in my 1-on-1 listening to my so-called areas for improvement.
So why is it so hard to unmute?
If I’m in another application, like when I’m in Google Docs diligently typing notes, reviewing mocks in Adobe XD… or maybe doing a little light browsing of YouTube, I need to quickly find the active window for Zoom and then click unmute. Considering my desktop is a hot mess of applications and hundreds of browser tabs, this is easier said than done. Or sometimes I simply like to lean back in my chair so I don’t completely devolve into the carpal tunnel hunchback I’m starting to become. As I recline the mouse is out of reach, much like my chance of getting a good annual review.
So I decided to take action.
First I got a fancy microphone that let me mute the microphone by clicking a button. It was great! It has a nice little flashing button that showed when I was muted. Except that it has a bit of a lag as the computer freaks out slightly when I turn the mic on and off. Also, it has no idea if Zoom itself is actually muted. So when the meeting host mutes everyone my microphone has no idea. And if I want to talk I now have two mute buttons to check.
I thought it would be fine, but I found myself never using the microphone mute button. Plus… I didn’t trust it! It feels dangerous to talk on Zoom when it doesn’t say I’m muted. I need to actually mute Zoom.
Next I found a deep setting in Zoom that enabled the hotkey `command+shift+a` to work even when Zoom is not focused. After forgetting the hotkey daily… a super nerdy engineering friend helped me set up some open source keybinding software to bind my never-used F19 key to the hotkey. It’s wonderful! Any time someone calls my name, regardless of what application I can just slam that F19 button and toggle mute on and off! I’ve grown to love it and if I’m using “not-Zoom” I miss it dearly.
But there’s only one problem. If I can’t see the Zoom window I sometimes forget if I’m on mute. So I slam that BIG MONEY F19 hotkey and accidentally mute myself. Thankfully Zoom puts the big “Are you speaking on mute you idiot?!” warning up and then I can unmute and expose myself as the idiot I am… just like I was doing before I found the magical hotkey.
What am I going to do?
Unmuting and muting at the right time might be the most important aspect of meetings in 2020. It’s career making and breaking. And If I have to say “David, you’re on mute ONE MORE TIME.” So then I decided… I need a real button. A beautiful physical button that can sit on my desk and light up red when people can hear me and not-red when I’m muted. And I need it on my desk at all times, regardless of what I’m doing.
So I started this website to see if anyone else wants this thing. If you do, add your email and when my masterpiece is ready to accept preorders, you will be the first to find out.
